This Can't Be Good
by Live Write Love
Summary: It's a boring day at the office, and Derek Morgan decides to target our resident genius... and his coffee. Can he be stopped before this turns into an all out prank war?
1. Chapter 1

Summary: It's a boring day at the office, and Derek Morgan decides to target our lovable, resident genius... and his coffee. Can he be stopped before this turns into an all out prank war?

Pairings: It's all about the friendships for this one, guys.

Author's Note: Just me again. I hope you enjoy this one, as I definitely enjoyed writing it.

* * *

This Can't Be Good

It's been a quiet week at the Behavioural Analysis Unit, just sorting through paperwork. This wasn't SSA Derek Morgan's natural environment. If something interesting didn't happen soon, then he was going to have to put his prank hat on.

Scratch that, the hat was going on.

Prentiss had her earphones in, oblivious to everything but the rather large pile of paperwork in front of her. He could try to pull a fast one on her once more, but if he was going on the past seven attempts then there wasn't much hope in him succeeding. Every scenario he thought up ended with him looking like… well let's just say she was off the hit list.

Hotch was of course a no-go. As much as he would have loved to put a smile on the stern Unit Chief's face, he also loved his job and was not in a hurry to leave any time soon, excluding days like this of course.

JJ was next in his line of sight, her blonde hair curled, and make up done extra fancy. She must be going on a date with her baby daddy tonight. She met his eyes and pulled a face, looking every bit as bored as him. Strangely enough, Morgan heard some sort of voice in the back of his head telling him not to do it. Wait what, _is this a conscience?_ He quickly shivered away the thought and scoured the scene for someone to take advantage of. Besides, JJ had been a victim of his pranks many a time.

Morgan's eyes hovered over Rossi's office door, but moved away quickly. He knew that Rossi had a rather precious new pair of boots made with Italian leather. Even thinking it, Derek could see they had the makings of a prank literally out of this world. Shame that it would also be a prank literally out of his budget.

His bank account had come precariously close to single figures that day.

Of course, Morgan's babygirl was simply out of the question, although he was unsure whether he would make the same decision if they weren't out of this darn room by next week.

I wonder who that left.

Morgan smiled mischievously to himself as he saw Spencer Reid let out a wide yawn. He knew _just_ how to get everyone entertained once more. _Poor Pretty Boy._

The next day, Morgan kept an eye on Reid, waiting for him to make his first move toward the coffee station. And sure enough, there it was, a little after twenty minutes in the building. _Boy, that kid sure loved his coffee._

The older man followed the younger as he took out one of the disposable cups the bureau provided, and began to make the 'coffee' that the bureau also kindly provided, out of the goodness of their heart.

"Coffee?" Reid asked, blissfully unaware of his friend's plan.

Morgan shrugged. "Why not?"

Just as Reid went to pull out another polystyrene cup, Morgan stopped him. "Hey kid, mind doing a friend a favour and grabbing the mug on my desk over there?"

Spencer's eyes lit up slightly when he heard the friend word, and complied, walking back to the desk. This gave Morgan just enough time to switch the sugar with a little something special he had planned for Reid, before turning around innocently, looking no different from before. _Damn, he was good. He really needed to talk to Hotch about that whole undercover thing. _

"So Reid, how's the paperwork going?"

"It's going great actually, thank you for asking." Reid smiles as he stirs the milk into the coffee, "I'm trying to slow down the process as much as possible, you know, save some things for the end of the year. But it's just too good, I might even be finished by today!"

Morgan shook his head in disbelief as Reid began pouring copious amount of 'sugar' into his coffee after handing the other coffee to his scheming partner. "Well if you ever feel hard done by, I can always drop a few extra files over on your desk?"

"That's very kind of you, but I can't take away your fun just because I don't take the time to savour my paperwork!" Reid reasoned as the two walked back to their desks, cradling their beverages as they warmed up their hands.

With a clap on the back, Morgan took his seat. "Don't worry, kid. You're welcome to it any time.

JJ made her way round to Reid's side of the desk; the pair began gossiping about Henry. It appears that the godfather was on babysitting duty tonight, and couldn't possibly be happier about it if he tried.

"I'm planning on starting To Kill a Mockingbird with him tonight, he can never be too prepared, if you ask me-"

This was it. Morgan watched with glee as Reid took a big mouthful of coffee. You could see the boy's face go from one filled with excitement and anticipation, to utter disgust.

With that, he spat out his coffee all over JJ.

All over her pristine white blouse, deep purple pencil skirt, perfectly curled blonde her.

_Oh boy, he was in trouble now. _

"What was in that?" Reid half shouted, cringing both inwardly and outwardly. "No, don't tell me. Half a tub of salt, that's what!"

JJ just stood there, almost in shock as neither of the boys made eye contact with her. Instead, Reid sent daggers in Morgan's direction.

"Lighten up, kid." Morgan laughed, slightly uneasily. "To be fair, you would of hardly tasted it if you don't insist on pouring half the pot of sugar in your coffee! Seriously Reid, it's more sugar than coffee!"

"Oh, so now it's my fault is it?" Reid accused, angrily. "Now I have to make myself a new coffee, with no sugar! You are going to regret this!"

In their argument, the boys had seemed to forget the coffee soaked JJ. In an even, steady voice, she said, "I don't care which one of you it is, but you are sure as hell going to pay for this."

United in fear, Morgan and Reid looked at each other and gulped involuntarily.

Before JJ could threaten them with anything else, a voice came from the catwalk. "Didn't you three hear? We've got a – what on earth happened to you?"

"Trust me, Hotch. It would be safer if you didn't know," Morgan said uneasily, ignoring the accusing look Reid shot him, and the hate he could feel radiating from JJ. Or maybe that was heat.

Garcia strutted past, stopping to whisper seductively in Derek Morgan's ear. "Looks like my Chocolate God of Thunder has landed himself in a little bit of trouble."

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Author's Note: Hey y'all. Hope you're doing well. This is just another spur of the moment fic, just for a little bit of fun. I'm planning out a more serious multi chapter at the moment but I do like my one shots.

Speaking of which, let me know if you want this to continue as a pranking/payback series of sorts? It might be a bit of fun?

Than you for reading, have a great week, my lovelies.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note: I wasn't really sure whether to write this or not but hell, it's just some fun. Thanks to Annber03 for the review, and to the Guest! They both made me really happy so tah!

Enjoy, it's Spencer's turn!

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This Can't Be Good, Chapter 2

Spencer Reid wanted payback.

How was it possible for him, a certified genius with an IQ above that of Einstein, to be fooled by one Derek Morgan? Seriously, of all the people, it just had to be him!

The jet home from the case they had just finished was pretty tense. Morgan had one half of the couch, JJ took up two double seats and Reid had the ones opposite. The other three members of the team were scattered around the jet, taking care not to agitate the younger half of the team. Reid could have sworn he saw Morgan and JJ open one eye and scan the space at least once every minute, despite both having their headphones on.

It was impossible for the three to completely avoid each other the next day at Quantico, for their desks were literally metres apart, but anyone watching would be able to see the stolen glances they took when they thought the other two weren't looking. Let's just say that Prentiss was rather scared, as she was out in the bullpen with them. It was alright for Hotch and Rossi, they could watch the drama enfold from the comfort and safety of their own offices, but the same could not be said for her. She decided that the safest thing to do would be to shove her head into some paperwork and pretend to not be seen.

Reid had not had much experience with pranking before. Wait a minute, let's rephrase that. Reid had not had much experience with pranking _other people_ before.

So at first he thought his plan was rather ingenious.

He followed Morgan to his apartment that night, and made his move as soon as he heard the shower start. With a smug smile on his face, Reid went about looking for the bookcase. Derek Morgan was not going to know what hit him. Reid kept looking. And looking. Until finally something settled in his brain.

Derek Morgan did not own any books.

Reid could've sworn his heart stopped for a second. He stood there, trying to process this new information. _No books._ _Boy, he must live a miserable life_. By the time Reid acknowledged this fact, he noted that the shower had stopped. There was no way he would be able to get out unheard now. So he made a dive for under the bed, quieting his breathing.

He was greeted by the sound of whistling and a towel rubbing against skin. Reid inwardly groaned as he felt the familiar symptoms of cramp in his leg. This was going to be a long night.

* * *

For the first time in his life, Reid was late to work. It had not only taken Morgan forever to leave his apartment, but Reid was unable to sleep properly underneath the low bed. He couldn't even turn onto his side! Not to mention it had all been a waste since Morgan didn't even own any books. There goes his plan to mess with Morgan's system for organising his books. He was going to swap the S's and the T's!

One strong black coffee and a quick trip home, then Spencer Reid made it back to work, ready for a fun filled day of paperwork. At least Emily had given him a few of hers to do once he had finished his own. That would hopefully be enough to get through the day.

Three hours later, and he was wrong.

Reid took to using 'google' to search for pranking ideas, since he didn't have any of his own. He knew there was a downside to graduating high school at twelve. As much as he hated to admit it, the internet was actually pretty useful. Don't get him wrong, he's a book man all the way, but you can't deny that despite his advanced reading capabilities, it would have taken him a hell of a lot longer to find what he needed. And Spencer Reid sure did find what he needed. The words "squirty cream" and "car" sent the clocks in his brain running overtime.

Half an hour after the lunch break had finished, and Reid stood in front of Derek Morgan's bureau assigned black SUV that happened to be one of his most prized possessions – armed with two cans of squirty cream. This was going to be worth having to prove to the security guard that he worked at the FBI.

What was that phrase Morgan had said once before? Oh yeah, payback's a bitch.

* * *

Reid just couldn't keep the smug smile on his face as he held the lift he and JJ were already in for Morgan. He could no longer feel the tension or anything.

"Ground floor, I'm assuming?" Morgan raised his head at his two colleagues.

JJ rolled her eyes. "Actually Morgan, I'm feeling like a little trip up to Organised Crime before I head home."

"Hey, chill blondie." Derek raised his arms in defeat. "What about you, Pretty Boy? Feeling snappy?"

Reid shook his head, pressing the button with the capital G himself. The ride down was silent, and both men had to admit they were a little scared as to when, or if, they were going to feel the wrath of Jennifer Jareau. They were both hoping for the latter. Reid at least was hoping that his elaborate revenge for Morgan would be enough to exempt him from whatever she was planning.

As the lift reached the ground floor, Reid motioned for the two to exit before him, leading the way to the car park, and the BAU assigned spaces.

"I still can't believe you parked in my space today," JJ glared at Morgan, who shrugged as if he couldn't help it.

"Yeah well sorry Princess, you were late and your spot's in the shade…"

Oh god, this couldn't mean that. Please no, it couldn't be.

JJ took a deep breath, controlling her voice. "Would someone care to explain what has happened to my car?"

Oh shit.

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Author's Note: Well there you are! I'm thinking I need at least one more chapter for JJ, but I'm not sure if any more would just drag it out? What do you think?

I hope you enjoyed it, and reviews would be very welcome. ;)

Have a great week, my lovelies.


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note: Okay readers. Here's JJ's revenge. Thankyou so much to Jenntedisco, Annber03, SSAmolloy7, BAUGirl05 for reviewing, it really made my day! Thanks also to the guest, Bethany. Sorry I couldn't reply because you were anonymous!

Hope you enjoy!

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This Can't Be Good, Chapter Three

Those boys were going to rue the day they ever set one foot into the FBI. She was going to make them pay.

You know, after the whole coffee incident, she was willing to let them off with a warning. Let them squirm a bit. She knew they'd be thinking up endless possibilities of what she could do to them, and manage to make it seem like an accident. Hell, she'd even thought of a few herself.

Of course JJ had known the blame lay almost entirely with Morgan, and not with Spence, but she hadn't got the coffee smell out of her hair for almost a week, no matter how many showers she took.

But then came the car. And Spencer Reid was just as responsible as Morgan in her books. It was no secret that anyone who messed with her car, no matter the circumstance, would pay.

Jennifer Jareau had the perfect payback. Oh karma was going to hit those boys like nothing else.

* * *

Two weeks and three cases after the car fiasco, and JJ made her way to the coffee station. "Coffee anyone?" she called out cheerfully, knowing full well what the answer would be. She smiled at the sound of three hasty 'no thankyous' and brought her steaming mug back to her desk.

Today was the day that Chief Strauss was making her inspection. She was going to have a nose around while everyone worked, after sitting in on their usual Monday morning meeting.

"How was the rest of your weekend, Spence?" JJ asked, too sweetly. The team had got back late on Saturday and had been given Sunday off, thankfully.

Reid gulped and kept his head facing one of the latest case files. "Um, you know. Fine. And you?"

She clutched the mug with her hands, gently blowing away the steam. "It was great. Really productive."

She was about to respond to Morgan's rather loud snort when Chief Strauss walked in, flanked by Hotch and Rossi. Emily and JJ rose to their feet immediately. "Ma'm," they greeted, respectfully.

But when Morgan and Reid went to do the same, they found that they couldn't.

The chair was stuck to their trousers.

Morgan found himself seated in the same position while Reid's lack of balance landed him sideways on the floor. JJ nearly spat out her coffee as she tried to hold in her laughter.

Hotch fixed his steely gaze first on Morgan, and then on Reid who was still struggling on the floor. Pure embarrassment was written all over his face, you certainly didn't need to be a profiler to see that.

"Agent Morgan, Dr Reid, Chief Strauss is going to sit in on our meeting today. Would you like to join us in the conference room?" Hotch was not a happy bunny.

Reid wriggled around on the floor, attempting to right himself, while Morgan made his third attempt to stand but came dangerously close to end up like Reid. "Damn it, I can't, Hotch. I'm stuck to the bloody chair!"

Let's just say that Strauss was not exactly looking amused. "I trust this is not a regular occurrence, Aaron?"

"Of course not, Ma'am. Will you two stop messing around and get off the chair. April Fools was last month."

"Do I look like I am messing you around, Hotch? Someone has tampered with these chairs!" Morgan let out a noise that sounded suspiciously like a growl. That blonde bitch was going to pay for this.

Rossi thought for a moment, before saying, "In my opinion, the only way you two are getting out of those chairs in a hurry is if you climb out of your pants."

There was a deathly silence.

"Perhaps I'll wait in the conference room. Hotchner, Prentiss, care to fill me in while Rossi and Jareau help your two… fellow agents out?" They complied with their chief immediately, Emily about to burst with laughter, Hotch about to die of embarrassment.

_Oh, the power of superglue_, thought the smug JJ. She moved closer to her struggling enemies. "I wonder what happened?" she smiled, innocently. "And today of all days."

"You do not want to get a genius angry, Jayje. And you thought you'd seen all my physics magic." Reid scoffed.

"Ooo, I'm shaking!"

Morgan cursed as he crashed down to the floor. "You better be out of my way by the time I get out of here, Blondie, or I would not want to be you."

Rossi walked past JJ, an amused smile painted on his face. He grasped JJ's hands and pretended to bow to her. "You have earned my sincerest respects. Thankyou."

The last thing JJ heard before she followed Rossi into the conference room.

"Today was not a good day to go commando."

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Author's Note: There you have it! Really hoped you enjoyed it, and of course reviews are very welcome! Sorry it's been a little while, I have science modules to do at the moment. Yep, I can just feel your jealousy.

Anyways, only one more little bonus chapter to go guys then that is the end of this little series or whatever this is! Expect it around the weekend, maybe?

Have a great week, my lovelies!


	4. Bonus Chapter

Author's Note: Here were are! It's the final little bonus to bring it all to an end. Thankyou so much to DebbieOz, mariah. , TinaraXx, BAUGirl05,Annber03 and SSAMolloy7 for reviewing the last chapter, and everyone else who followed/favourited/read. I got 1000 hits so far and that made me so happy.

Enjoy! This chapter is for you.

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This Can't Be Good, Bonus Chapter

If they thought tensions were high before, it was now worse than the Cold War in here.

Thankfully, there had been no serious repercussions from JJ's little payback, at least not from Strauss anyway. JJ, along with Morgan and Reid had gotten a rather harsh telling off from Hotch, but no one other than Rossi had seen the corners of his mouth turn up when the three left the room like sullen teenagers.

"You know what we need to do," Rossi mused as Prentiss joins them in the office.

"I have an idea of where your mind is headed, and I gotta say I like it," Prentiss agreed mischieviously.

Hotch grimaced. "It's time to give them a taste of their own medicine."

* * *

"Really, Hotch?" Morgan sighed. "You had to keep us all behind for an emergency meeting at 11pm, for that?"

JJ let out a yawn and removed her head from Emily's shoulder. "I agree," she mumbled. "That so could have waited until tomorrow."

"Not in Chief Strauss' books, so unless you want to have to deal with her again-"

Reid bolted up straight in his chair and made a beeline for the door. "No Sir, that meeting was completely and entirely necessary. See you bright and early tomorrow."

"Rossi, Prentiss, could I have a word?" Hotch said, sending JJ and Morgan meaningful glances.

"I guess that is our cue to leave, see you tomorrow, guys."

Morgan followed JJ out and they walk in silence to where Reid is waiting for the lift.

"I don't suppose Garcia let you know where those pictures were, did she?" JJ teased, as the lift arrives with a ping. Reid snorted as he followed JJ into the elevator.

"You do not want to get on my bad side now, Blondie. Just you wait. It'll be when you least expect it," Morgan almost growled at her as he followed the younger two. "But, no, she didn't."

"I knew I made the right choice, appointing her as Godmother," JJ smiled smugly, pressing the 'G' button. "How's the physics magic going, Spence?"

"Don't worry, I've still got plenty of tricks up my sleeve."

JJ rummaged through her bag, looking for her phone. "Damn, I can't find my phone."

"Here," said Reid as he dug a hand in his pocket. "I'll ring it."

But he couldn't find his phone either.

"If this is your work, Morgan, I swear to you-"

"Hey! Stop with the blame, Princess. I don't have mine either."

Then the elevator came crashing to a holt, sending the three Agents to the edges of the elevator, clutching the sides for dear life. Let's just say they're not quite at the ground floor just yet. They haven't even got one floor down.

"Hotch!" Morgan yelled, banging on the doors, trying to prise them open. "Prentiss! Rossi! Anyone!"

They hear three sets of footsteps, making their way towards them. "Rossi, you're a pranking genius," Hotch praised.

"What can I say, it's the truth?"

"Very funny, har har. You can let us out now!" Reid begged, standing next to Morgan, and slamming the alarm, not surprised when it does nothing.

"Oh no, you don't think we're letting you off that easy, do you?" Hotch asked, amused. Although none of them could see his face, they could just picture the rare smile it would have. "You made our workplace hell for the past few weeks, now it's your turn."

"Please no!" JJ pushed the two men aside and started banging on the lift doors. "You can't leave me in here with them, they'll kill me! I'll do anything!"

"Don't think so, JJ." Emily chipped in. "Do you have any idea how terrifying it is being out there in the bullpen with you guys? Come on, why don't we take the stairs."

Ignoring their shouts, Rossi, Prentiss and Hotch smugly made their way down the stairs. Slumping against the wall of the rather small elevator, JJ left Morgan and Reid arguing over how to get out, and the odds they had.

Ten minutes later, and they fell to the ground either side of her.

Reid groans. "Next time, I am taking the stairs."

"You and me both, Kid." Morgan agrees.

"I don't suppose now is the best time to tell you that I know exactly where the pictures are."

* * *

Author's Note: Well, there we have it. I really hope you liked it, I've certainly enjoyed writing it. *hint* Reviews would be appreciated, *hint*.

I'm shameless, I know.

I'm hoping to have another oneshot up this week maybe, and I'm aiming to post my first proper multi chapter on June 1st. Aiming being the important word.

Have a really good week, my lovelies!


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